College Essay

Put on a Show

  When we were toddlers, we didn’t care whether somebody was watching to criticize us. We produce a mess by eating with our hands and run around in diapers. People stop by to remark on how adorable and cute we are. But in actuality, we are who we genuinely are at the moment of birth. This is exactly where acting takes me. I am completely at ease with how I speak and what I say, and I have no interest in what people are saying about me. 

  As a little girl, I always danced and played these acting games. My cousin and I would play the part of superheroes who were having their superpowers stripped away as we sprinted across my grandma’s enormous yard. Perhaps I was rehearsing a talent show dance with my best friend. Or I would write my mother a forty-item Christmas list pleading for a karaoke machine so I could belt out the songs from Frozen. My mind, body, and soul belonged in the arts. I used to like performing for other people when I was this age. It kindled an inner light in me even more when it persisted in elementary school. On a daily basis, I sang and danced around the kitchen with my curly brown pigtails and reenacted the Disney Channel original movies.

  Things shifted when I got to middle school. Drama amongst friends became regular. My insecurities were heightened by “mean girls” at school. Assignments became useless and unclear. I became someone other than myself by imitating my older sister’s appearance and preferences. I distanced myself from my family because of what I believed from my dad. I was so worried about what people thought of me that nothing I did was for myself. My sadness worsened as I transitioned from middle to high school. 

  Miserable in high school, I walked through the halls as anyone but myself. I listened to emo rock music that I hated, wore disgusting mismatched black clothes, and tried to be like everyone around me in a new, stuck-up, and wealthy town. However, anytime someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I repeatedly said “an actress.” My father kept repeating to everyone how I imagine and dream but don’t take steps to make those dreams come true. He was correct. I got lazy and fearful. I lost my voice and spark. I lost my youthful vulnerability.

  In my junior year, something stood out to me. I wanted to feel like myself again, my bold and vocal self. I joined drama classes and decided to audition for the play. All of a sudden, I changed. I had never felt more alive.  I got one role, then I got another role in two other plays, then a role in the musical, then a role in my current play. I did an acting camp in front of cameras. I spoke in classes and made myself known. I showed my individuality and said what others were afraid to say. My independence began to feel less lonely. Now, my creativity feels regenerated. All I look forward to now is being challenged by a role that I can dive myself into one day. My inner child is still alive and well. It never left; it just got lost for a bit. Finding my identity was the biggest challenge. But when I realized I’m an actress who hopes to share a story on that big screen, I could continue to dance in the living room with no concern about the stares I would receive.

This website is becoming a way for me to demonstrate some of the work I'm proud of. Although, it may or not be seen, it's a great opportunity for me to display the beauty behind my hours put in. Hope you stick around to read and watch! Xoxo~ Maya

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